thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
