The maid of honor just puked.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
