sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
