i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
