You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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