You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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