Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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