fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
