this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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