Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
