We're facebook friends in real life
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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