(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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