toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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