if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
