He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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