It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
