Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
