you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
