i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
