Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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