dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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