Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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