I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
