So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
