What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
