will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
