So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
