around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
