Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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