I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
