just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
