I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i dont even know how to be here
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
