I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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