do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
