Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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