I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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