i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Girls should come with a carfax report
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
