every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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