he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
third nipple confirmed
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
