We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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