I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
