the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
