Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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