I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
