I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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