And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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