Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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