The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
