How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
