I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
