8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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