Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
