Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
