I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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