Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
