It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
