If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
wow bdsm is so cute
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