This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
