Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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