it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
me + whiskey = a bad person
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