ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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