Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
