Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
