Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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