what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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