I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
