and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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