Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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