i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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