never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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