Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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